Monday, April 10, 2006

The Waffle House Favre Built

Have to give credit for the "waffle house" line to whoever the headline writer is for Bob Wolfley's SportsDay column...perhaps it's Mr. Wolfley himself. In any event, his Sunday (4/9 ) Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel column, "Enter the waffle house at your own risk," is a brilliant satire of Favre's non-news conference on Saturday.

Now, with all due respect to Brett, the non-event of Saturday apparently was the result of a family spokesperson giving reporters the impression that some big announcement would be forthcoming at that news conference. Apparently her way of getting some extra buzz for Brett's Fourward Foundation, the beneficiary of the charity golf outing Brett put on in Tunica, MS this last weekend.

Still, Wolfley takes Brett's comments from the news conference and does an excellent send up of a writer deciding whether to continue writing or not. Here's a sampling:

"You came to this space expecting me to have made a decision about the topic I was going to address in today's column.

Well, I haven't decided.

In fact, I'm struggling with whether I want to write again.

I may write. I may not write. I just don't know what I want to do at this moment.

You wasted a trip back here if you came thinking I had decided.

After I finished my last column, it was tough for me to be excited about writing. Even though I love writing - it's in my blood - I don't know if I can ever write again.

What I need now is for readers to be patient. We're in no hurry. The paper will come out tomorrow, and the next day and the next, and the next, whether I decide to write again or not.

I know one thing.

I don't want to go through a year like last year.

It was brutal. Soaring newsprint prices. Eroding circulation. Incursion of the Internet. Blogs.

When I joined this newspaper I never dreamed we would go through a year like that one. I don't want to go through something like that ever again."

You get the idea. Great stuff. Especially if one is a writer. Or enjoys pointed sarcasm. Count me in.

In that same edition of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Packer columnist Michael Hunt also has a great column (note: you may have to be quick on your browser's "stop" button, as the link tries to forward you from the article to the Packer Insider subscriber page almost immediately; by using the back button and/or a fast stop button, you can eventually get most if not at all of the article to appear). He argues that Favre's "competitive fire" won't let him walk away...even though he probably should, for the sake of his own legacy as well as the future of the Packers.

One of Hunt's best lines is his opener: "This tedious Brett Favre saga, which should've ended long before Saturday's non-event in a Mississippi casino town, has become the modern-day version of a '70s arena-rock drum solo.

At some point, it stops being interesting and just becomes annoying."

For those who actually have at least a dim memory of those drum solos...well, you know what he's talking about.

Hunt closes by quoting Favre from that Saturday news conference: "'It's in my blood. I love to play the game,' Favre said again Saturday.

It is past time for him to say that as the basis of his return."

Great writing by two of the best in the biz. Kudos to Messrs. Wolfley and Hunt.